Dear Doctor Greyface,
There is no Pudgy here, just
Froggy. I am a frog.
And I definitely have no sweetses.
Wow you are very confused. How embarrassing for you.
Tabitha and I are having a tea party. Tea parties are Pudgy’s favourite! Today it is Earl Grey with cookies.
Take a good look, because this stuff is awesome and you’re all going to be jealous of it forever.
Pudgy isn’t sure he understands the issue here. Girls have cooties and they carry purses. Who knows what they could be hiding in those things?!
Pudgy recommends you settle down and find a nice cake. Pudgy found a beautiful cake and proposed to it recently. The relationship did not last long, but it was way better than getting cooties.
… Shampoo? Do you not know of it?
Gross. Pudgy is honestly a little uncomfortable now.
If you don’t know about shampoo maybe you should buy some and try it. Pudgy’s mane is flowing and beautiful and smells like coconuts.
First you have to smell nice. Bring the recruiter some flowers and wear your finest monocle so he knows you’re serious about starting a relationship. Every good relationship begins with flowers. Pudgy grows his own flowers and gives them to all the bosses. So far, Pudgy still doesn’t have a job…
…but trust me! Flowers!
Also it’s best not to try to kiss the recruiter on the first interview. Walk him to his office door and offer a firm handshake instead.
Pudgy wants to go to the kitchen and eat dessert. You can share too if you bring your own utensils. Pudgy doesn’t want your germs.